Bikini Bottom Encounters the Borg
by GreatOverseer
Summary: Spongebob has to fight to survive after the Borg arrive in his hometown and begin to assimilate the population into the collective. Watch as a tale unfolds, filled with heroism, death, betrayal, and assimilation. Lives will end, but hope will survive. (T for violence and the Borg)


**ACT I - Resistance Is Futile**

As Squidward was preparing to master a particularly tricky part of the music, a white light stabbed down at a point just in front of Squidward's wall of self-portraits. Squidward didn't know it had happened, though. He was too busy screeching and grinding his way through the music. The light stopped, and where it had been there was a strange man with computers sticking out of him. Squidward noticed it out of the corner of his eye, and stopped playing. He turned to the new arrival, indignantly.

"We are the Borg," said the man. Squidward glared at the Borg, not knowing the horrors this thing could inflict. "You will be assimilated," the Borg continued, in a monotone. "Resistance is futile."

"Hey!" Squidward protested, as the clarinet was vaporized by a green laserbeam from the Borg's raised arm. "I was, as you should know, honing my _talent!_"

"Talent is irrelevant. Resistance is futile," said the Borg.

Squidward crossed his arms and prepared to shout the Borg out of the room. But he was given no chance to do this, because at that moment the mechanical arm came down heavily upon his head, and the world lost color.

-o-o-o-

Meanwhile, it was another day at the Krusty Krab, except this day it wasn't. Spongebob, the fry cook, was huddled up in the cashier's boat/stand when Mr. Krabs arrived with key in hand. When the latter opened the door, Spongebob burst into tears.

"Now, now, lad," Mr. Krabs said comfortingly, "you can tell me 'bout all yer little troubles." Then he frowned. "How th' barnacle did ya get in here, boy?!"

"Oh, it's a disaster!" Spongebob wailed.

"What, boy?!"

"Squidward wasn't here when I came over to play chess with him!"

Mr. Krabs sighed. He'd had to deal with a lot of stuff over the years, and quite possibly the least important thing was this.

"Did ya check the loo?" he asked.

"Yeah," Spongebob sniffed. "He wasn't there EITHEEEEEEEER!"

Krabs kindly picked up Spongebob and set him on his feet.

"Don' worry, lad," he said gruffly. "Ol' Mister Squidward'll be back in no time, you just watch." And then he entered the office, humming merrily. Spongebob tried to get himself back into shape. He put his hat on, with infinite lugubriousness. Then, spatula in hand, he set off to fry a few patties.

-o-o-o-

A laser point flashed in the gloom. The other Borg had accepted the newcomer.

The laser pointer belonged to the assimilated Squidward.

Or, should I say, Tentacles of Borg.

-o-o-o-

The light stabbed down in Jellyfish Fields, next to a gleefully spinning Patrick. Patrick, net in hand, had already caught twenty Jellies when Tentacles of Borg appeared beside him.

"I am Tentacles, of Borg," said Tentacles of Borg.

"Hiya, Squidward," Patrick said, dropping the net and letting the jellies escape into the wild blue oceans.

"Squidward is irrelevant," said Tentacles of Borg. "You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile."

Patrick tried to work this out in his brain (or lack thereof). Smoke could visibly be seen coming out of his mouth as it sat slackly gaping.

"Hot wings?" he guessed at last.

"Hot wings are irrelevant," said Tentacles of Borg. "You will come with us. Resistance... is futile."

When the hand came down, Patrick stayed upright. Tentacles of Borg hit Patrick again, and this time the pain reached his brain and shut it down. The supine body was beamed up by a stab of light. Tentacles of Borg strode on, and assimilated every single Jelly in sight.

-o-o-o-

Spongebob flipped his last burger. It was 7:30 at night, and Spongebob was due to leave early for some cake with Patrick. He'd been looking forward to this, even though the recent disappearance of Squidward was weighing heavily on him.

He breezed out of the glass doors, leaving Mr. Krabs in his office. Not a soul was in the building. The streams of customers had faded, leaving a floor covered in bits of discarded patty and condiments. A solitary soda stood akwardly on a table, surrounded by food debris.

This was where the light came down, and when it dissipated there was Tentacles of Borg.

The Borg spokesperson stood and inspected the area. No technology in here, but they had been informed that a strong specimine of Crabkind was lurking in this establishment. A good addition to the Collective and no mistake, much better than this lowly Squid.

Tentacles of Borg reached the door to the office, and with his newfound Borg strength bent it in half horizontally and pushed it aside. Mr. Krabs looked up as Tentacles of Borg entered.

"Ah, so ye finally came-" he began, but was cut off.

"Finances are irrelevant. You will come with us and join the Collective."

"Is that like one of yer 'banks'?" said Mr. Krabs suspiciously.

"In a manner of speaking," said Tentacles of Borg. "You will come with us."

Mr. Krab gasped.

"No landlubber touches me money!" he exclaimed, clutching it to himself. "If ye want to touch me money, then you'll have t' fight ME!" Krabs put up his claws in a gesture of hostility. Tentacles of Borg raised his arm and fired a green laserbeam at Krabs, which sizzled past his long eyes and left a hole in the back wall.

"Resistance is useless. You shall service us," said Tentacles of Borg. And beside him, Patrick (now Star of Borg) appeared, with the same strange technology protruding from his rough pink skin. They subdued Mr. Krabs, and beamed him up to their Cube. Then after desroying the Krusty Krab and leaving behind only smoldering wreckage, they departed.

-o-o-o-

Patrick's Rock was surrounded by police officers the next day. The premises were wrapped in caution tape, and if Patrick had still been there he would have mistaken them for an ad for ice cream and barged right through them. But it was only a dejected Spongebob and a solemn Sandy who stood with the police outside the presumed crime scene. Two officers were searching underneath the bed.

"Nothing, Sarge," said an officer. "Nothing but a donut... looks to be about a day old and has a note on it that says..." The officer squinted. "'WIL B GONN 2DAY GET JLYFISH'."

"So he was in Jellyfish Fields?" called Sandy, who had been promoted to Sergeant of the Bikini Bottom Police two months earlier.

"That'd appear to be the case, Sarge," said the officer, and shrugged.

"Right, men, you heard," said Sandy. "Move out, 'cuz we're a-goin' to Jellyfish Fields!"


End file.
